KICKS IN THE TEETH
record shops to avoid

KICKS IN THE TEETH
Static Caravan's Geoff Dolman, Mo Leen and Keith Jones compare war wounds (please email me with your painful experiences)

"Hands down the worst experience in a record shop ever. I was there about 1 min just looking at the stuff not even had picked up a record yet when the chap approached me and said ‘I know your type there is nothing here for you..you will argue about the price and then leave without buying anything’ I held up the bag of records I had bought elsewhere and he just got closer to me and said ‘ hey OLD MAN! There is nothing here for you, you are a damaged person and you pretend to like music now leave my shop’."(Geoff)
(the shop is in Prenzlauerberg in Germany - Ed)

"I walked into the nearest branch of a local chain of record shops (four in total). Whilst it's easier/cheaper to order online these days, well you know, you like to support local initiatives and the original store has lovely staff/great stock (on vinyl!!) so what could be better?
This new branch has a little coffee bar attached (the sort that sells coffee by the single bean in a very small cup). I perused the racks then approached the counter to see if they could order something in for me. The, extremely hip looking, counter person saw me but was busy talking to the adjacent barrista-no problem, there were a few racks by the counter too so I checked those as well.
Once those racks were all perused out I waited patiently hoping to catch the counter person's eye, no rush I thought- we can all play the insouciance game. Eventually, obviously a lull in the conversation, the hipster turned to me, looked me in the eye and as I began to mouth my request- promptly turned and resumed his chat. Needless to say, I ordered online that afternoon and haven't been into the shop since. Bandcamp and Norman Records suit me just fine".(Mo)

"Stopping off in Singapore for a couple of days, I dragged Liz around the city in search of boxes of underpriced, pristine local pressings. Increasingly desperate, I persuaded her to try one last shop in one last shopping mall (basically, Singapore is one big shopping mall); this looked more run-down than most, which is usually a good thing, and I tracked down the shop I was looking for in a dark corner of the complex. The shop was just opening or closing and I tried to engage the owner with a cheery, "Hi, we've come all the way from London to find your shop". He looked up from whatever he was doing - which was clearly more important than talking to me - said, "I've had people in here from Russia, you mean nothing to me" and turned away. I would have made my excuses and left but as far as he was concerned i'd never been there in the first place" (Keith)

"Probably my best kick in the teeth was a visit with Liz to a well-rated Welsh independent shop during a Cardigan festival weekend. After a while scouring the racks, I "happened to mention" to the shop owner that I ran a little label called Fruits de Mer, maybe he'd heard of it, etc, etc. He tapped away at his computer for a while, turned to me and said, "you don't exist". (Keith)

    Desert Island Fish you might be interested in....

  • Jack Ellister

  • Marc Swordfish

  • Jussi Ristikaarto

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